Am I evil?

Complete and Updated Edition

Navigate: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

A dark lemon fanfic by 

            Welcome to the updated version of my classic fanfic, ‘Am I Evil?’  My previous opening was woefully inadequate so here goes.  This fanfic is violent, bloody, and dark.  There are scenes of self-mutilation, humiliation, mutilation of others, implied snuff, children being injured, violent sex, partial amputation, anal sex, and more.  To some extent this fanfic was written just to push the envelope of what should be included in a fanfic.  As such there are a number of people this fanfic is unsuitable for.  First off, if you are under 18 years of age, don’t read this, it is fairly messed up and may mess you up as well.  For those others, if any of the fetishes that I mentioned previously are things that you know you might take offense to, stop reading and go back.  It will only get worse from here on out.  Lina’s thoughts are occasionally inserted between ~thought~. Now, try and enjoy the fanfic.  If you have to know exactly when the fanfic takes place I would place it at the end of next, after Sylphiel breaks off from the group but before they disband entirely, I imagine the gap between Next and Try as being about five to seven months so it fits in there somewhere.

Note: I’m not kidding, this one is pretty intense.... most people will regret reading this....


        Hate… Lina hated the thought of what was she knew was going to happen to her emotions. Still, it was something that seemed, to some degree or another, natural. It didn’t come often, maybe once a year, but when it hit her… It was a driving force, hurling her head first into a frozen lake.  And never before had it been this bad. Everything around her became muddled and her concentration completely dropped away. She’d become good at hiding her feeling though and everyone was content to believe that it was just ‘that time of the month.’ That made things simpler for Lina it was better then the truth after all, and no explanation was necessary. She told her friends she was calling it a night early, feeling her mental fatigue double at keeping up appearances.  ~Food still on the plate…~  She thought with a grimace as she walked away, ~damn, they’re going to notice that…~

        To avoid unnecessary attention she tried to walk more with the balls of her foot across the old warped floors of the Inn, there was however little need for such actions.  She came to her door and forced it open, the hinges were notably rusted and despite her precautions, it opened with a resounding creek. Such a crummy Inn.  Stepping into her room she was forced to give the door quite a bit of effort to close it again, the hinges proving to be even less cooperative from the inside.  With a grunt she forced the door closed and turned back to her room.  The moonlight streamed in-between the curtains in the room.  The light mingled over the bed and onto the floor near her feet in contrast to the rest of the room left to hang in stark darkness.

        Grimacing again she felt her focus dissolve.  A little shake of her head side to side though cleared some of the mental cobwebs.  Sleep might help as it had in the past, that made her goal, the bed.  To her misery, relief was not forthcoming. For who knows how long she starred wide-eyed at the ceiling. One by one she heard each of her friends move to their rooms and presumably fall asleep.  As more time passed she eventually heard the sounds from the tavern below fade away all together.  Just an occasional clatter to indicate that maybe someone was cleaning up still at the end of their shift.  Being still for so long though, on impulse she sat upright and looked around.  All around on the walls the moonlight created shadows out of everything, the stuff that children’s nightmares are made of. One shadow stood out to Lina though.  There was something there.  A resemblance… she couldn’t quite place it but, it was a demonic presence that she’d seen before.

        "Evil, pure evil...." Lina sighed to herself. There was nothing good that came from the forces of darkness. Sure, everyday tens of hundreds of people used the black arts to summon evil from the monsters that haunted the night but much fewer knew what they were doing actually doing. How it called evil into existence, ~They don’t call it the black arts for nothing…~ Lina thought with a dark chuckle. Still, no human in her age and time knew what she knew about them. Her magic’s were the most powerful, more powerful then any other human. Oh sure there was the off hand chance that some lucky mage could kill her but there’s basically a chance for anything.

        She repeated herself aloud once again, "Evil" then again, this time slower, dissecting the word "Eeee..vvvv....illl." Images percolated though her mind unbidden, all the spells she’d cast recklessly, the bandits that she shook down left and right, and those unlucky ones that met their fate at her hands.  "Am I evil?" she whispered gently, her face went white from the thought. She’d always tried to do what was right.  But she had been called evil so many times. It was only in the back of her mind that she would admit to the kind of sadistic pleasure she got from punishing bandits............




            It was some time ago that Lina and company found themselves standing outside a stereotypical bandit hideout. The day had a friendly air to it, warm, serene… The sun had just reached its zenith as Lina put her plan into action, spinning around dramatically to face her friends.  “I’m going this one alone, it’s just a basic bandit clean out, no problems." Lina finished her statement by flashing one of her confident smiles.

"Be that as it may, I think that it would be safer if we all went in together." Zelgadiss, always the thinking man didn’t think that Lina jumping the gun and attacking by herself would be the brightest idea.

"Miss Lina you can do it!" Amelia gushed enthusiastic as ever, egging Lina on in spite of any danger.

"And what do you have to say Gourry?" Lina asked wishing to out vote Zelgadiss and go it alone.

Gourry scratched his head "I guess you can go on your own if you really want, it’s just a couple bandits."

"Thanks Gourry I owe you one, wish me luck, I’ll be right back!" With that Lina took off toward the fortress, rushing foreword as fast as possible to drown out any protests.

Without missing a beat, Lina launched a fireball fifty feet into the ornate doors of the hideout, detonating them into a shower of sparks and embers.  Almost unnoticed, there was a falter in her step as she shivered slightly.  She leapt through the hole she’d created and took a quick survey of her surroundings.  Bandits everywhere.  Some with shocked looks, many with their mouths still hanging open, all of them turned and looking right at Lina.  She put her hand to the back of her head and giggled, suddenly realizing that she had underestimated the size of the stronghold significantly.  Her nervousness was quick to fade, replaced by a heat in her chest and head.  Slowly her innocent quirky smile was consumed by a more sinister expression,  ~Now for some real fun!

That’s when the slaughter began.  It was different though, the bandits were not merely casualties of Lina’s lust for treasure in this instance.  Quite the contrary, they were instead the focus of her actions, each kill it’s own means to an end.  This fact was accentuated by Lina’s method of attack.  She neglected her usual precision, that of an expert sorceress and instead drew her sword and started chopping.  Her use of magic was random at best while she worked.  A fireball here, a Burst Rondo there… if it wasn’t within reach of her sword chances were it would be destroyed nonetheless.   Her pace became more frantic as she took more lives.  A look of madness steadily replaced her normal mask of concentration that she often wore during battle.  Looking back on it she realized she knew what it felt like to be a Mazoku. To live for another’s pain and with each tortured scream to be pushed further and further into the plane of ecstasy. Just minuets later most of the fort was in ruins and flames as she worked her way into the main chamber her intensity increasing all the way. She entered a huge halk, screams echoing off the walls all around her as she coated them with blood.  From head to toe she was covered in human debris, the blood stained her. It was caked over her hands and face, having dried just to be splattered with a new coat making it wonderfully thick and black.

One of the men whose head she had just cut off managed to attempt a swing with his sword despite his dismemberment.  It was pitifully aimed although admirable considering he was irrecoverably dead.  Something about that scene though, his body toppling over spouting icor through his neck cavity.  It struck Lina just right, she couldn’t help but snicker.  The impromptu snicker though grew into full-blown laughter that continued to grow in pitch as she cut down her attackers.  The men remaining, however few there were, had their will to fight completely decimated.  The laughing picked up yet again, Lina’s voice becoming horse and grating, but the killing didn’t stop, Lina running after those few left who were trying to flee, striking them down maliciously.

        Finally, Lina reached an invisible block.  Her emotions ceased to raise and there she stayed on the plateau. She wanted more, and with the number of bandits dwindling she felt the need to be more creative.  The next man she came to was running as most of them were, but the chase made it all the more exciting. She took the blade of her sword and ran it thought his back, through his kidney, slicing into his intestines and finally piercing his stomach flesh, the blade poking into the back of his shirt, blood rapidly staining it red all around.  He was screaming and frantically trying to pull away while cutting his hands trying to force the blade back though himself, but that only drove Lina further toward her unattainable goal. Her body went foreword with the blade causing him to gasp as she pressed against the dying man’s back. Then, in her psychosis she bit him, just a little nip at first, not even drawing blood but the second bite did much more damage, clamping down on the mans neck Lina twisted her head and pulled away, the flesh gave under her assault and she pulled away with a mouth of ripped skin, tubular smashed arteries, and veins.  Blood poured from his neck as his body lurched foreword in one last desperate attempt to get away from his killer.  Reluctantly Lina let go, letting the doomed man stumble and fall forwards, landing hard on the ground.  Lina worked her tongue over the tissues in her mouth, she wanted to swallow them, but there was too much.  His blood though was leaking into her mouth and she loved it.  Suddenly she felt her breath caught in her throat, she let the meats fall from her mouth and cried out, overwhelming emotions taking over she dropped to her knees, tears came unbidden to her eyes, covered in blood, the blood was everywhere…. It was just something that… she could never forget…  




        With memories like that it was no wonder Lina was shaking severely.  She’d blocked it out, everything. Her friends, thank god they let her forget about it.  At least for a time, ~They must have found me laying on the ground curled up in a ball~. Then a sobering thought came to her. That’s what she wanted, she wanted to do that again, to just give into her impulses and find out what’s past that invisible barrier. There was longing inside her, the memory must have brought it out. Now that she’d figured out what she wanted… She was getting excited ,her pulse was racing, rapidly she was loosing control. She was at the tipping point.  That very last moment where she could fight it, where there was a chance that if she forced herself she might be able to regain control over herself again and forget the whole mess.  It was temptation at its purest.  But as her analytical mind struggled through the quagmire of impulses, as her pure self fought against what she knew was wrong, she suddenly ran out of time.  She was too far gone to care, ~..damn the consequences, no one will ever find out, just more rumors to add to my reputation...besides, who ever cares about bandits?~

        With that she hopped out of her bed and put on her cape, boots, and her sword.  Then, without looking back she went to the window and jumped. It wasn’t a far drop just from the second story and she was used to that sort of thing.  She just rolled with the impact and voila no hurt, but her psychological state was muddled.  She wanted to see how it would feel if she didn’t roll with it.  What kind of pain it would be… just before she hit she snapped out of it and rolled with the impact, just barely. Grounded, she started walking away from the town, into the darkness around it.  Soon the walk turned into a jog and finally an all out run. She ran as if she had a destination in mind, but her only guide were faint impulses to head west.


        The full moon barely penetrated the canopy over the forest, leaving only the dimmest of light to see by.  But Lina hurried onward. Her breath was coming in quick gasps but she didn’t slow from her frightfully fast pace. She ran through brambles that stung and cut her, branches snapped against her face, and she slipped and fell in the mud by a creek.  These hardly slowed her down, let alone stop her.  Finally in the distance she could make out the tell tale light of torches.  Slowing, she came to a stop at the edge of a clearing. It took a few moments for her eye to adjust but as they did, a predatory smile came to her lips that would have unsettled the most stout of men.  Licking her lips she pronounced a single word, "Bandits."

        Tentatively she approached the door. As expected there was a small group of guards blocking her way. They seemed a little shocked by seeing someone, especially a woman approaching the stronghold but they tried to get some formalities out of the way, questioning her motives for being there and such when she took out her sword and cut them down. The movements were hurried but the quality of her steel ensured clean cuts all around. The first of her strikes cut straight through one mans jaw and then the trajectory of the sword was quickly pulled down so as to imbedded it into another mans stomach, spilling his intestines. Just as the upper half of the first man’s head started to plummet toward the ground she brought her sword around in a wide arc dismembering another’s arm in the process. A mist of blood began to fog the air and Lina felt what little control she had slip away, a beat beginning to pound in her head. She brought the sword high above her head and turned toward the last frightened man now cowering on the ground and in one savage blow tore the man asunder just as her previous victims bodies began to collapse to the ground.

        She took a second to admire her handy work and lick her gloves clean, already her hair was matted to her back with mud and blood, splatters of it were also over her face and chest. She wiped the rest of the blood off her gloves on her shirt leaving burgundy red criss-crossing stains, adding to the macabre outfit. With the dead and dying around her, her attire certainly gave her the look of already having a significant kill count.   There was an incredible mood upon her.  Walking up to the gate, she put her hand to it. Locked. She expected no less. After a moments consideration she simply cast a levitation spell, flying up and over the wall.

        Clearing the wall she found that there was no one around. There was a huge dome though in the middle of the walled fortress and immediately she made a beeline for it. Reaching the double doors she gave no hesitation in blowing them apart.  She watched the stunned bandits inside with a hint of amusement. They had no idea what was going to happen. She walked to the middle of the gathering to announce herself, her tone nearly hysterical, "I'm Lina Inverse, yes, that Lina Inverse, nice to meet you all!" When questioned on what she wanted, her response was to take her sword and puncture the infidel’s lung, causing him to drop to his knees until he drowned in his own blood, which didn’t take long at all. His choking screams were music to Lina’s ears, and that’s when all hell broke loose.

        Hours went by, Lina stalking the hallways and side passageways for survivors.  Some hiding in fear, others caught off guard from the late hour.  She lost herself to the madness and her lethal movements became a dance of flashing steel and blood spray.  Those few people she managed to come across never once had the thought that the creature they faced may have been human.  She spun in circles, sword extended to the maximum acting as some kind of human dicer. Even in her frenzied state the wear of slaughter began to take its toll.   It could have been a number of things, blood making the handle slick, fatigue, or a combination of both, but finally at the apex of one of her swings her sword flew free of her grasp and went out of sight.

        Weapon gone, a few bandits came out of hiding.  Seeing this heartless murderer defenseless they felt their chance at retribution at hand.  She stood there breathing heavily; her cape clung around her body like a wet blanket.  It was slowing her down so without a second thought she removed her shoulder guards and with them the cape fell as well. The blood had soaked through the cape as well, leaving no indication that she’d ever worn the garment.  She flicked a small piece of entrails from her face and took a deep breath, a thought crossed her mind, ~...maybe if they capture me, they'll torture me for information... Nahhh...~  That hopeful thought squashed and afraid of loosing her mood she decided to forge ahead without hesitation.

        Now that her hands were free she was finally able to cast her magic unhindered. The first five people to come out of the woodwork were unceremoniously immolated. They screamed, a sound she had become quite taken with that night.  The wonderful sounds of pain were cut short though as they died an all too quick death for her liking. The smell of burning flesh and singed hair now filled the room, the scent mingling with the rank taste of blood that hijacked the senses.  The few remaining men, their nostrils stinging from the noxious fumes, were inspired for one last time to lay their lives on the line.  Though this time it was a greater good they were fighting for, realizing that to put down such an evil person would be worth the sacrifice of their lives.  She took delight in impaling them with icicle lances and watching them die blood curdling deaths, shooting them with flare arrows and fire balls, the room was awash with evil magic.

        It was all over much to quickly for Lina taste.  The ground was scorched, littered with burning bodies, a sizeable accumulation of them ablaze in front of the fortress. Huge pillars of inky smoke lead up to a noxious cloud gathering above the fortification. In areas blood flowed down the expansive stone steps, coagulated and frozen in place like a horrific impersonation of a waterfall with dismembered limbs scattered throughout.   The walls around and the towers that reached into the sky were gone, mere piles of rubble on the ground, the target of Lina’s frustration as she found herself running out of victims. The whole affair was ripe with violence, a chaotic bloodletting that warped the air around it, causing a heavy weight to press on the soul of anyone who came near, foreboding and pushing them away.

        There were precious few bandits left and Lina became more frantic searching for them, running through the remains of the halls and corridors she was having no luck in finding new prey. Her pace became more frantic, but there was no one to be found.  Everyone was dead.  Finally, just as she thought she was going to die from the emotion inside her, she tripped and fell. It hurt, she barreled into a wall, her pace giving her the momentum to possibly break her arm.  After the initial shock though, she found there was a new component to her pain. She liked the pain, and was so deeply into her addiction that she would feed it with whatever she could find. She slid with her back to the wall to the ground and into a sitting position. Her entire body ached, her flesh worn raw and bleeding in places from the blood soaked clothing. After a brief hesitation she began to strip out of the matted rags. The clothes made wet noises as they tried to cling to her body while she forced them off. She dropped them into a pile next to her and if there hadn’t already been a pool of blood there, there would have been now.

        She looked like a mess, her hair was saturated with blood and clung to her back and chest, hiding most of her face in the process. Her skin had a spattering of blood all over which had soaked though her clothes and clung to her. Her body was littered with tiny and semi deep cuts mostly throughout her arms but they were elsewhere too. She also found, to her delight, that her once pristine white undergarments were now stained a delightful sanguine shade.  Finally after what seemed like forever her heavy breathing slowed and an eerie silence creped in. In the distance the sun was beginning to rise, bringing an end to the torturous night of murder.  Its purifying light enveloping Lina through the ceiling, which had long since been blown off. She started to rise, but she was reminded of her injuries as her tiny body was wracked by a strange voluptuousness paroxysm.

        The shock of the emotions caused her pulse to pick back up. Her eyes blazed with newly rekindled desire and in the new morning light the casual glimmer of metal caught her eye, drawing her attention to a discarded dagger laying near by. She gingerly reached out and picked it up by the handle, holding it at arms length as she inspected it.  It wasn’t that long, the blade being only about five inches and ending in a sharp point. The handle was plain wood, possibly stained but most likely just blackened from repeated use and wear. She grasped it fully in her hand admiring the slightly dull blade that only possessed a hint of its previous luster.

        She knew what she wanted to do… she just wasn’t comfortable in admitting it to herself yet, so she just went with her impulses, giving in yet again.  She flipped the dagger around in her hand so the she was holding it blade downward. Brining it to her arm, her hand quaked as she fought against impulses that could seriously injure her.  It took a moment for her to work herself up to it, finally she slid the point of the knife lightly across her arm, her pulse raced anew. She did it again, this time with a little more force, drawing blood. The sensation was amplified, the pain was nice, but it was the helplessness, how she was mutilating herself that was turning her on more then anything. 

        It was a terrible sight.  Something so innately wrong that it defied all expectation.  Here was this beautiful girl, in the prime of her life, defacing herself.  Not just that, she was giggling and cooing with pleasure at every touch of the knife to her skin. Crying out with pleasure not pain, all the while inflicting more and more ‘torture’ upon herself. Blood was readily flowing down her arms in streams, none of the wounds were critical, but as a whole it made her appear to have reached the limits of human endurance.

        Her emotions were running higher and higher, her breaths forced into her lungs with shallow gasps. Finally, as if by some miracle she reached her release, lights flashing within her closed eyelids.  She collapsed into a heap against the cold floor of the fortress, a tortured scream escaping her lips as she drove the dagger deeply into her arm, causing it to emerge from the other side. It was several hours before she woke again. Thankfully, her memories were fuzzy at first but the carnage around her served to readily spark her memory. Her mind was numb, she did this? She could scarcely believe it, but here was the proof, the evidence that unequivocally pointed to her.

Dazed she tried to think.  She tried to cover it up. She had to leave as fast as she could and not look back.  Frantically she searched the landscape, putting herself into a run in spite of her injuries which had piled up on her.  Fortune smiled upon her in the form of a stream.  The cold water started to wash the fog from her mind as she waded into the waters, brining with her the clothes she had worn the night before.  Mercifully the blood washed from her body, from her clothes.  It also stung at her injuries, particularly her left arm which now bore a hole that she had put there hours previous. Though she felt that she didn’t deserve it she healed her arm before leaving the stream.  Looking back she saw the whole stream, slow moving as it was, now was tainted with the unmistakable adulteration of blood just like her. 

She somehow managed to wander back to the inn. It was impossible to hide what had happened the night before entirely.  Her clothes were torn and ragged and the bloodstains were still evident. Most of the tiny cuts she had sustained in battle still adorned her body as well as most of the not so minor one’s she did to herself. After failing at trying to compose herself, Lina stumbled through the door to the Inn and into the lobby/breakfast area. As she was afraid, her friends were there waiting, at least one of them was, the rest were likely out searching. Amelia ran to Lina swamping her with questions from the moment she saw her. It was too much too quick and Lina’s mind nearly shut itself off again, Lina forced her way past Amelia, trying not to even look at her and padded her way to her room.  She managed to evade Amelia and get inside the door without too much of a confrontation.  The room was the same as she left it the night before; even the window was still open. Once again she stripped down into her underwear and locked the door before crawling into bed.

        It was impossible for her to face anyone.  Sleep was a great excuse so she took it, spending the entire day immersed in sleep or pretending to do so.  She promised explanations to the group the next morning, she lied. Awakening was a painfully long process the next day, with every second she drew closer to awareness more of the haunting memories came back to her. By the time she was totally awake Lina was an emotional wreck. It took nearly an hour for her to get a grip on herself and prepare herself mentally for meeting with the rest of the group.

        The sleep didn’t help, not enough time had passed and the memories were still as clear as ever.  Her mind was becoming frantic, the anticipation of seeing and talking to her friends again.  It took most everything she had not to just sneak away.  And with each step down the stairs the next morning she felt that trepidation grow.  Everyone had their eye on her when she finished descending the stairs, they wanted explanations, that wasn’t something Lina wasn’t ready for.  So she lied.  She never liked lying to her friends but the memories were too fresh to go digging up already. She had her doubts that they bought it, the story that she made up about her somehow hearing about a possible lead on another Claire Bible manuscript, how the bandit gangs attacked her and she barely escaped with her life. Hopefully she’d never have to tell them more, but the secret would surely drive them apart for some time.  During the time when she needed friends more then ever.

        Hours and days blurred by. To Lina, it was like seeing everything from outside her body. She answered questions on reflex and she had to make a conscious effort in order to do what she wanted. Her mind was elsewhere, back on that night of bloodshed. She couldn’t pull her thoughts away from it. The pain and suffering, it was almost too much for Lina. From time to time lately she was haunted by terrible visions and they were too real for comfort.

        It was another day, and within minutes of walking down to the breakfast table Lina began daydreaming. Her eyes got a far away look, she was still eating, slowly albeit and mostly out of habit. Her peripheral vision of the breakfast dissolved away until she was fully submerged in her fantasy.  Seeing herself with a satisfied look on her face standing confidently over a fallen body. Upon closer inspection, and to her horror, she saw that the body was that of Amelia and that Amelia’s blood was on her hands. Amelia’s neck was bent at an unnatural angle with a portion of the lower half poking its way out of her skin. She wanted to vomit as her heart sank into her stomach, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. She watched in morbid fascination as her mirror counterpart kicked and bludgeoned the fallen form of Amelia. Then her eyes locked with Amelia’s dead eyes, they spoke volumes of pain and suffering.  Lina heaved but nothing came up and the show would not stop. She jumped,  shocked out of her reverie by someone placing a hand on her shoulder.

        She yelped in fright and was surprised by the fact that she was still daydreaming.  Her counterpart however gave no outward sign of hearing anything. Lina took a few steps foreword and whirled around to see who was there. But contrary to what she expected, it wasn’t yet another petrifying evil segment of her imagination but something that would be considered, at least by her standards, normal. Xelloss stood as he usually did, staff in hand wearing the same smile he always wore. "Xelloss!" she gasped, she looked him up and down appraisingly wondering what this vision would bring, it was definitely not something she’d expected to see.

Xelloss’ smile widened a little just as he was about to begin to speak "My, my, my.  Lina, this certainly isn’t what I expected to see when I stumbled into one of your daydreams..." He finished gesturing to what was going on behind her. She hazarded a look over her left shoulder at the gore and was once again reminded of how violent she could be as she watched her other self maul Amelia’s lifeless body before turning back to Xelloss.

"I really didn’t expect this either...." She trailed off shaking the memory out of her head.

"Oh don’t worry about it Lina, I think about these kinds of things all the time, tearing Amelia apart is also a fantasy of mine." It wasn’t the way he said the words that frightened Lina, but the way his smile seemed to grow with each syllable.

        "But you forget Xelloss, I’m not a monster like you." She tried to fall into her usual confident persona but it was harder to do then she expected. 

"I do keep forgetting that.......but that doesn’t mean you won’t become one." Xelloss’ smile widened even more as Lina started to get angry.

"And just what do you mean by that!?" Xelloss' response was to once again turn toward Lina, he extended his pointer finger and began to wave it in the air.

"Now that is a secret." And with that said he teleported away.

Suddenly her consciousness returned to the material world. She was still sitting at the breakfast table, the only difference was that most of the food was gone. Just like the day prior she did not feel like eating but she forced herself to, if just to keep up appearances. Passing some time she nibbled on some bread and speculatively glanced toward Xelloss who was sipping tea. He must have sensed her eyes upon him.  Then he did something that she hadn’t seen in a while, he opened his eyes. And smiled a big uniquely evil smile. "Welcome back Lina." he started before starting to drink his tea again, leaving Lina’s paranoia and fear room to blossom.

~He knows, he knows what's going though my head, he knows what I am...~  Lina shuddered and resumed eating her toast.  That was the first of several times that Xelloss entered her mind. Prior to the experience it had never happened, now she was lucky if a day went by.  His visits were also becoming more frequent with each day. He was around more too, gone were the days when he would leave unpredictably for days on end, now she wasn’t sure if he ever left at all. Awake or asleep he always seemed to find her, ~..what does he want?~  She wondered in frustration, ~What in the nine hells does he want!?~

"Sore wa himitsu desu." He popped up over her shoulder, scaring the hell out of her in the process. He was listing in on her thoughts, he’d been doing that much more then she was comfortable with. It took a few moments for her to compose herself and she felt confident to talk again. 

"Xelloss what the hell do you think your doing reading my mind again!?" He took on an obviously false but nonetheless hurt expression.

"Why Lina, it saddens me that you would think such a thing of me.  I’m just checking up on the mental health of my favorite sorceress." What should have been finished with a frown was instead finished with a smile, quickly defeating the sympathetic undertones of the message.

"Then you should know that I’m just fine!"  She finished the last statement with more heat then she originally intended but maybe it would get her point across.

        "Its no use lying to me Lina, I know what happened the other night..." He let the connotations hang in the air and Lina felt her next breath hard to draw in as her stomach tightened.  But she had guessed he knew as much.  She felt her emotions building, there was something about being around Xelloss lately, the cravings for violence and blood shed were somewhat muted except when she was in his presence. And when she was around him she was sure there was no way to fight it, the impulse to kill again. Soon her facade that she’d spent days building toppled. The emotionless eyes she had tried so hard to keep up gave way to tears. She lost her hard won control to the only person she didn’t want to lose it to. The crying session was brief but intense, with Xelloss standing idly by, watching the whole affair with a sense of amusement. Ultimately she found herself able to talk again, she looked up at Xelloss from her new position crouched on the floor,

"Why Xelloss, why do you keep bringing this up...(sob)....why cant you just let me forget!?"  She let her eyes begin to water once again, causing Xelloss’ body to become blurred to her. She wasn’t sure what he was doing exactly, rising his staff.  She tried to blink back the tears to get a better impression of what was happening

"It’s okay Lina, it will all be over soon..." But she was too late and with that last phrase her world went black........


            Lina awoke with her mindset already toggled to panic.  Quickly, she recounted what happened; Xelloss knocked her out, a Mazoku had knocked her out and now she had no clue where she was. She forced herself up from the cold, damp ground and looked around as she pushed herself onto unsteady legs. It was dark and she was outside, that much she could tell immediately.  Turning though she caught sight of a town not too far from where she was standing.  It wasn’t hard to make out against the pitch-black backdrop of the wilderness, especially considering most of it was in flames. As towns go it wasn’t considerable in size, perhaps having somewhere between fifty and eighty buildings but it certainly made a grandiose bonfire.  She shivered a bit, from the chill, her feet uncomfortable, dew from the grass seeping through her boots, the wetness causing the iciness to bite at her even more.  Aside from the physical sensations though, there was a murderous intent in the air.

            Managing to pull her eyes away from the dancing flames, Lina tilted her head to the heavens.  It took a moment for her to use her limited knowledge of the constellations to confirm what she’d already anticipated.  She was quite far from the rest of the gang indeed.  Grabbing her cape, she pulled it closer, for now to keep in her warmth and in anticipation of keeping out the heat she knew she would be facing in a few moments.  “Best to just face this head on...” Lina started off in a sprint toward the burning village but before she’d even made it ten yards, the air adjacent to her shimmered.  Her reflexes were not hampered by her miserable take on the weather and she spun around to face the point of disruption while simultaneously leaping backward to gain some distance. Her surprise visitor wasn’t a surprise at all though.  “Wha’d ya think you’re doing Xelloss? Bringing me out here in the middle of the night!”

            Xelloss gave a smile in her direction and opened his eyes a crack, “I just figured you’d like to watch me work a bit.”

Lina looked to her left at the burning village then back to Xelloss, “So this is your ‘work’... what made you think I’d want to see this!” Xelloss reached down to his side and patted a small girl on the head, she was clinging to his pants and crying, somehow Lina had missed her entirely. Lina’s chest felt heavy as she eyed the girl, she was dressed in her Sunday best so to speak but was splattered with blood.  There was a slight relief as Lina realized none of the blood on the girl was from injuries to her person, but her relief evaporated just as quickly as she worried about both of their fates at the hands of Xelloss.

            “Oh Lina, I just wanted to show off a bit, after the show you put on the other day I felt more then obliged to do something for you...”

Lina’s face lost some of its color, “You saw...?”

Xelloss smiled wide, almost truthfully, “Lina, how could you think I wasn't there, I could have felt it from two worlds away, the pain, the anger, the way you cut them down as they ran form you, then...” Xelloss walked in fast, dragging the girl behind him, and before Lina could react he tapped her on the nose, “... the orgasm...” Lina had to clench her teeth to keep from just shouting back, she looked toward the girl and tried to maintain some composure. 

“So what are you planning on doing with her?” Lina said gesturing with her head and taking a step back to keep her distance.

            Xelloss took his hand and patted the girl on the head affectionately, “If you’re worried that I’m going to injure this innocent, the answer is no...” Lina let out a breath she hadn’t know she had been holding, however Xelloss’ next words managed to completely freeze the air in her lungs, “...but I’m afraid you’re going to be killing her in just a short while...”

After the initial shock, Lina’s anger quintupled, “And why would I be doing that....” Her words were clear through her grinding teeth she tried to hide her anger for the girls’ sake but she knew Xelloss was having a great time feeding off how pissed she was, and that only served to make her even more perturbed.

            In the commotion, the little had hidden behind Xelloss, only leaving little hand in Lina’s view.  Lina crouched down and put her hands on her knees before called out softly, “It’s okay sweetie, I won’t hurt you...” The girl responded by pulling her hand back so Lina couldn’t even see that.  Knowing that this was a lost cause with Xelloss there Lina stood up and faced him again. Faster then her brain could track, Xelloss deftly grabbed the wrist of Lina’s right arm, and closed her open hand around a handle. On impulse, Lina opened her hand to see what it was.  It was a dagger, the one she had used on herself the night before. 

Xelloss smiled even wider as it dawned on her, “It seemed such a waste to leave it laying there, I’m sure it has some sentimental value to you so I grabbed it... besides, you’re going to need it, I don’t expect you to simply strangle this girl after all....” Of course the fact that Xelloss seemed quite sincere was only increasing her anger.

            There was an initial impulse to stab Xelloss, knowing that it would do no real damage but determined nonetheless, she decided to give into it.  She lunged foreword, and Xelloss shimmered away, leaving the girl standing there clinging to nothing. Lina faltered a bit in mid movement stopping and looking around expectantly. Xelloss was gone; she looked down at the dagger again and threw it on the ground hatefully. Looking to the girl she opened her arms, “It’s okay, let’s get you out of here...” However the smile on Lina’s face and truthfulness of her words failed to penetrate her fear, she looked around frantically for a few moments then just when Lina started to move in she bolted.

            Lina scrambled, trying to break into a run, but her travel was short; in mid step Xelloss re-appeared and grabbed the child roughly from behind. He reached around and grabbed her wrists and twisted them around behind her back skillfully then dropped down on his own knees holding the girl in place, trapped. The shock stopped Lina in the tracks, “Lina, come on, I had a hard time finding just the right girl for you to butcher!” The playful quirkiness the exemplified his title as the Trickster Priest was back, it was just that in the context at hand it was thoroughly inappropriate.

A brief surge of Anger threatened to take control of Lina.  “I’m not going to kill anyone except maybe you!  But especially not a little girl!”

Xelloss frowned slightly, “You just need the proper stimulation...” He stood up and let the girl go, she made another dash but froze in mid step, enveloped in a grayish square of space, her movement was froze to the millimeter.  Lina would have paid attention to that but her alertness was now focused on Xelloss slowly approaching her, his true Mazoku-self flaring out unhindered.

            It was now Lina who was paralyzed, though her paralysis was entirely derived from the striking fear that rose up suddenly upon her.  The ability to speak or move was lost, but she could think.  Her mind was fighting frantically, trying to break eye contact with Xelloss but she couldn’t turn away.  Xelloss was now face to face with her, their noses almost touching before he casually walked out of her sight.  Unexpectedly she had her mobility back, she tried to turn to follow where he went but he was already behind her.  Expertly he grabbed both of her hands, pinning her just as he had the girl a few moments before. Lina snarled, “XELLOSS!”

He smiled, “It’s okay sweetie, I won’t hurt you..” He mocked, imitating the tone Lina had used with the girl before. Lina struggled even more to break free but Xelloss responded by tightening his grip significantly.

            Suddenly there was a pressure pulling her down and the joints in her ankles and hips buckled painfully as she crashed down. Xelloss pulled her up just enough so she was sitting on her knees. She cried out at being posed so roughly as Xelloss moved his pinning position and grabbed both of her slender wrists in one hand.  Slowly he moved his free hand around toward the front of her outfit, “I’ve never done this with the intention of it being pleasurable to anyone but me, so don’t be angry with me...”

His confident light hearted tone, Lina couldn’t take it, she started screaming, “Xelloss, you son of a bitch, when I get loose I’m going to Ragna Blade you, and your Lord Beast Master!!!”

Lina knew she was treading on thin ice with the last comment but Xelloss just smiled, “I doubt that very much Lina.” His hand was now worked in between the layers of clothes she wore and down between her legs. Lina tried to kick her feet and close her legs but in her position all it did was hurt her more.

“It’s too much Xelloss, stop, it hurts!” Xelloss ignored her and put more pressure directly on her clit, rubbing a bit as he did. Lina continued struggling, occasionally shouting out a profanity as Xelloss continued manipulating her.

After a few moments he changed tactics, lowering his hand further he pushed three fingers into her dry opening causing her to cry out loudly again, “You can stop pretending now Lina, I know you like it...” Lina’s throat already rattling from yelling but she managed to cry out again even louder. Mechanically Xelloss worked in a fourth finger and was finally rewarded with a slight amount of wetness, it was hard won though with Lina fighting him the whole way. Changing tactics again, Xelloss dropped backwards landing flat on his back and taking Lina with him. He yanked his hand away from Lina's crotch and easily tore the middle of her pants out so that Lina's genitals were now totally exposed.

            Xelloss’ hand went back again to her clitoris which he smeared with some of Lina’s lubrication. His hand was slightly gentler and he slid his finger around in circles, occasionally coming into contact with the nub. Lina struggled to pull her legs together but Xelloss brought his own up and hooked his feet around Lina’s pulling both of their legs off to the side. Now Lina was completely exposed and Xelloss just continued to force out more of her juices. Exhaustion was setting in, the disorientating position she was in, the struggling, the drain from the previous days… She was breathing heavily and occasionally accented her ragged screams with a derogatory comment toward Xelloss. He increased his pace; spreading his fingers apart he put his thumb against Lina’s clit and shoved three of this other fingers inside her to the knuckles. Lina’s eyes opened wide as he started to work them in and out quickly rubbing her clit with this thumb.

            Xelloss moved his lips next to Lina’s ear speaking softly, “Lina, it's really nice of you to be so lively, but now it’s time I return the favor...” Xelloss increased the intensity of this attack as he thrusted with his own hips only for the purpose of bouncing Lina up and down into his hand, “Lina, you know you like this, you want me to abuse you, you want more, I bet you even wish you were still dry down there don’t you?” Lina gave a grunt and shook her head side to side, but Xelloss was not dissuaded, he pulled his fingers out of her cunt and grabbed her clit between his thumb and forefinger tightly, Lina yelped out from this but Xelloss just grabbed tighter, grinding it between the two fingers, “You want it tighter don’t you?” Lina shook her head ‘no’ but Xelloss just increased the pressure even more and Lina yelled even louder.

            “You want to be used Lina, this is your ultimate fantasy come true, isn’t it?”

In between gasps Lina got out a horse, “No..” but couldn’t say any more.

Xelloss upped the ante even more; he let go of her clit and moved his hand down further then before stretching his arm unnaturally.  He put his index finger up against her sphincter and violently shoved it all the way inside. Lina’s body tensed up, her back rising completely off Xelloss painfully, “Now your ass is mine too.” Lina tried to keep up, away from his body to keep him from having a workable angle but it was no good, she was against him again and he was working his finger in and out fast. At first she was dry, then after a few minutes of working her raw, little droplets of blood began weeping out of the stretched tissue, landing over Xelloss’ pants speckling them.

            Lina could feel Xelloss’ finger, the cold of the air around her on her all too hot skin, she opened her eyes for the fist time since the start of this and looked to her left, at the city in flames… it felt like they were close enough that she should have felt the heat from the city. She watched them dance, she felt Xelloss against her, his erection pressing into her backside, his finger in her butt. ~I want more...~ The need was suddenly there, she needed more, more pain... Once again she started struggling but this time with herself.  The internal battle was brief, and when she next tried to pull away from Xelloss, he let go of her hands. Instantly she had her fingers inside her, and another two on her clit. Xelloss had to relinquish his position at her ass, his hand being muscled out of the way by Lina’s own eagerness. He shifted his lower body over a few inches and re-worked his hand around from behind her. Now having a better position he tried his luck, rubbing together three of his fingers he wiped as much blood as he could from her ass, savoring the sticky mess and forced all three fingers in at once.

            Lina’s back arched again, guttural sounds forced from her throat. Her hands started to move even faster and Xelloss forced his hand in even more, blood was trickling down his palm now at a constant rate and Lina feverishly worked her fingers in and out. She felt something, her fingers brushing against Xelloss’ in her ass through the thin tissue that divided them. She repositioned her hand so she could press into the lower part of herself and Xelloss pushed up against her hand as well. Her fingers were sliding around on the inside playing with Xelloss’ through the sheer inner wall. She took her clit between her two fingers and started pinching it tightly, simultaneously pulling it away from her body causing her to gasp deeply.

            Moving his head up more, Xelloss was again next to Lina’s ear, having temporarily abandoned her ruined ass hole, “Lina… grab the knife, it’s right next to us...” A part of Lina’s mind that was somewhat rational could previously name only one good thing about this situation, that she didn’t have a knife or something else that she might permanently hurt herself with, now that part of her was screaming, she was grateful to be able to tune it out. Slowly she leaned over and rolled off Xelloss, reaching around blindly till she found the point of the knife. Xelloss stood up, looking at his arm, covered in thick coagulated blood trailing from his hand to his elbow, he noted with amusement that his fingers were especially caked with sticky clots.  Smiling, he started walking away, leaving Lina to contemplate the knife.

            Lina’s left hand had gone back to her clit with her right hand holding the knife loosely. Timidly she took the blade and pressed it lightly into her left nipple then quickly dragged it up, leaving a bloody dot where it had touched. She licked her lips, the lightheaded feeling coming back again. This time she went further, pressing the tip into her nipple deeper, the flesh bowing in to accommodate the knife tip then giving way all at once reforming around it, holding it inside. Lina took in a slow breath through clenched teeth and pulled the knife out. The area around the puncture discolored black as blood started to well up and collect beneath the surface of her pearly skin then all at once a rivet of red streamed from her breast and down between her legs disappearing.  Her left hand eagerly went between her legs, smearing the sanguine liquid over her clit and between her folds before going back to play with her blood-coated clitoris.  Through her muddled emotions she felt Xelloss suddenly behind her again.  Giddily she stood up but didn’t turn around.

            “Xelloss... you just left my ass lonely...” She was trying to be seductive but was too far-gone and her voice too ragged from screaming for it to show through.

Xelloss reached down and put two fingers easily in her ass hole, which was now sticky and cold, blades of grass clinging to it, “Maybe this will help Lina.” All at once Xelloss jammed a large open pinecone several inches into Lina’s rectum. Once again the blood was flowing and she dropped the knife, her teeth clenched tightly.

She held that position with her muscles tightly bound for a few moments then a deep throaty “Yeeeesssssssss.....” Came out.

Xelloss smiled wide, “I knew you’d like that Lina.”

Lina dropped back down on her knees then fell backward spreading her legs.  From her position she could watch the city burning and finger herself at the same time. Life was good. The pinecone inside her pressed tightly against the walls of her colon, bulging out all around.  Inside her cunt she could feel its distinct shape through the thinly stretched bottom wall.  She violently pulled on her clit, pressing her fingernails into it drawing blood and jamming her other fingers into her cunt being sure to press hard against the bulge from the pinecone. Xelloss stood over Lina smiling; he reached down and grabbed the knife looking it over, a puzzle waiting to be solved. He reached over Lina and leaned it up against her crotch with the handle pressing against the back of the hand she was using to finger fuck herself.

            Immediately she knew what it was and grabbed it with the hand she was using to finger herself. She knew where it was going; she took it, blade first and pressed it a few inches into her cunt. It slid in easily without contacting anything, but then came up against the pinecone bulge. Lina smiled, slowly she started to saw into the mound with the blade.  At first there was not enough pressure to draw blood, but with each stroke she cried out a little louder and pulled her clit a little harder. Now blood was flowing out of her mangled cunt but she kept digging deeper into her fuck hole. It penetrated, a little at first, just the tip went through and touched the pine cone, then the whole of the flesh moved with the knife and it no longer was doing it’s job. Lina pressed harder and cried out in frustration, her hand on her clit now moving almost too fast to make out details.

            Then with a tearing-penetrating feeling, nails scrapping across a chalkboard, the knife went all the way through into the pinecone, the top of the knife cutting at the entrance of her cunt, the tip deep inside her ass. Her back arched again, the impact of the blade into the pinecone pushing it even deeper into her bowels.  She pulled her hand away from the handle, her hand on her clit worked even faster and she was forcing out a breath through clenched teeth, “Fuck, Fuck, killll meeeee Xelloss, I NEED IT!!” Thick blood and white liquid drained from her cunt as it contracted over and over, releasing the built up fluids.  Spent, her shoulders dropped to the ground, her hand now only slowly fondling her clit. Xelloss walked up to Lina and patted her on the head then reached down further and hoisted her up into a sitting position. Her eyes were entirely unfocused, her breathing shallow, Xelloss snapped his fingers once and the envelope around the girl winked away leaving her still and confused.

            Walking over to the girl, Xelloss put his hand on her shoulder then led her over to Lina, “She’s yours Lina..” Lina smiled quite wide, her fangs entirely too pronounced for the girl’s comfort.  Lina reached down and pulled the knife out of her cunt, the feel as it pulled from the pinecone causing her a unique pleasure sensation. She brought the knife up and without pausing slowly brought it across the girl’s face. She screamed and tried to pull away but Xelloss held her steady. Lina showed no emotion, she brought the knife back across the other way forming an X then stabbed her in the stomach pulling the knife across quickly.

            Xelloss looked down at Lina, her face and her destruction hidden from this angle, her clothes that he could see were entirely intact, for a moment he almost doubted what had just happened and Xelloss acted a little disappointed.  Lina looked up and met his gaze. As the body fell down Lina brought the knife to her lips ran it across them, biting into her own blood supply. “Next time Xelloss, bring me a boy....”

Xelloss’ smile came back in spades, “Next time I’ll bring you a whole village of boys, but now....” Xelloss tapped Lina on the head with his cane and her eyes rolled back, “Now it’s time to sleep Lina...” She fell on the ground immobilized and he gave in to the urge he had been feeling all night, to indulge in his victory.




            It was some time later that Lina woke up in her room.  The sun was just rising. She turned her head to look out the window, the pane was a bit foggy, but she could still make out the blurry outlines of the city. A few tears slid down her cheek as she tried to concentrate on the outside world, “How’d I let that happen...” She looked down at the sheet covering her, “I guess Xelloss tucked me in...” She laughed to herself a bit, wishing that she couldn’t remember more of the night before. She wished she was delusional and hallucinated the whole thing, even that would be preferable.  Trying to motivate herself, she started to sit up but felt a terrible piercing pain in her abdomen, the sensation suddenly making her afraid to move. ~That damned knife! I really hurt myself this time... maybe permanently....~

            Purposefully, she worked her arm up to the top of her sheets and pulled them back. She was naked, “And he stripped me!” A vein in Lina’s forehead throbbed once, then again, but her current situation forced her quickly into a more calm state. Her eyes widened as she moved a hand to her breast, moving the nipple around between two of her fingers, “I stabbed into this one, I... I thought that I was gonna lose it..!” But her nipple showed no such injuries, still being cautious she spread her legs, pain once again shot up her spine from deep inside.  It was intense and caused her to gasp, for a moment she held perfectly still as the hurting passed, gingerly propping herself up on some pillows when she felt confident enough to move again.

            After some finagling she managed to shove two pillows under her to prop up her head so she could see between her legs a bit. Next up she inspected her opening, it wasn’t stretched at all, no blood, not even a nick where the knife had cut into her before. She pulled herself foreword even more, hissing, she pressed on despite the pain and reached further down to sphincter, nothing, no caked blood, no obscenely huge opening. To wake up uninjured, for a fleeing moment she hoped against hope that it really had been a dream, but the fantasy disintegrated just as quickly, “Xelloss couldn’t have done this..."  Then a scary thought occurred, ~I hope Amelia and the others didn’t find me....~ Still though she continued her inspection, suspicious of the source of the pain, she cautiously inserted one finger inside of her vagina and felt around.... “There!” The wound had been healed, but whoever healed her had neglected to remove the huge pinecone shoved in her butt.

            Tears welled in the corners of Lina’s eyes, “How the hell am I going to get this thing out!” She said aloud while probing around it from the inside.  As a bitter reminder of the night before she found that Xelloss had stuck the pinecone in so that if she tried to pull it out the opened shoots would rip into her. ~There is no way I’m going to a doctor to get a pinecone taken out of my butt!~  She sighed, her mind racing over possible alternatives but settling on a less then appealing idea, ~I guess I’ve got to take it out in pieces....~ Lina pushed herself over with her elbow, falling on her chest. She tried to press a finger into her tight rectal opening but it was too dry.  Silently she sobbed to herself then thought about it more rationally.  Finally, in what could be described as a Eureka moment, she took the index finger on her right hand and put it in her mouth to lubricate it a little bit.  Saliva still trailing from the wet digit, she moved her hand around back and pushed firmly into her rear.

            It slid in easily this time, but came to a stop by the second knuckle when it hit against the pinecone. Realizing that there wasn't a whole lot she could do with just one finger she amended her plan of action.  She brought her hand back to her mouth and added some spittle to her thumb as well before trying again. Now the fit was much tighter with the two fingers but forced them to the pinecone. It took a second for her to get a grip on the slippery shoots of the pinecone but eventually she grasped one of the small pieces and broke it off.  Disgusted, she slowly removed her fingers and tossed the piece down on the bed; it landed heavily, a bloody stain traveling through the cotton fabric around it from the point of impact. Then her fingers went back in.  Methodically, over the next half hour, Lina managed to remove about three quarters of the pinecone but was having trouble reaching the rest.  Even more dissuading, the center still remained.

            Too bad the pieces that were left were the biggest ones. She thought about finding a knife and trying to maneuver it in to break them up.  She wasn’t ready to trust herself with a knife again for some time though.  Grasping the stem of the pinecone firmly she pulled lightly.  It shifted a little, but it wasn’t much to go on.  Still, any amount was a start so she reached in further to see if it had moved enough for her to get at the next row of shoots.  It was almost within reach.  She pulled at the stem some more, harder and it moved more, pulling free of the flesh it was lodged into.  She forced her head into the pillow to muffle the screams, as the flesh was torn raw.  The extra-wide spines at the large end were dragging across her insides painfully, and as they moved they continued to stretch and tear her colon. 

            She reached in deep and was rewarded with another row of shoots that she broke off one at a time.  Now however she was much closer to the end of the pinecone that had been stopping up her butt. As a consequence the pieces she was breaking off were covered with fecal matter and soaked with blood. Lina tried not to take a breath through her nose, she’d been at this for almost an hour, and her whole back was cramped from keeping her butt high in the air.  The crap and dried blood coating her fingers was making her sick as she had to keep licking them periodically to get keep them slick enough to force them back inside to grab at the pinecone. With each attempt she silently screamed into her pillow and fought back her reflex to vomit, dry-heaving into the pillow.  Then, once again, she would stick those same two bloody, fecal covered, fingers into her mouth to re-lubricate them.  It truly was hell.

            Another row gone, Lina figured there was only two or three left. She decided to go for broke; she grabbed the stem and pulled with all of her might. It slipped between her fingers so she redoubled her efforts and grabbed again. This time it pulled, just a little, but then picked up movement.  The top row of spines collapsed and suddenly it pulled out all at once, a huge hunk of Lina’s shit coming out with it, coated in blood and stringy white mucus. Sick, exhausted, spent, Lina fell over onto her side, not caring about any pieces that may have still been left inside her.  The bed was a horrific mess and as soon as she got her strength back she planned to get as far away from the mess as possible, of course that’s when Xelloss decided to pop up again.

            “It’s only been four hours Lina and you already want more?” Slowly Lina started talking, trying to keep her tone even but deadly.

“It was nice of you to heal me and all but next time take the pinecone out of my ass first!”

Xelloss smiled and held up a finger, “Technically I didn’t heal you, I just forced your flesh to grow together, it’s a little trick us Mazoku can do to create chimeras...”

Lina was not amused, “Just go to hell Xelloss!”

“Speaking of hell, I thought that you were going to use your Ragna Blade on me the second you saw me?”

Lina smiled dangerously, “If you don’t get out of here I just might!”

            Xelloss tried to act like he was worried and hurried to the door, “One last thing Lina, you forgot your dagger.” Xelloss pulled it out of his robes and tossed it to Lina.  It landed right next to her on the bed. Lina looked at it frightened but Xelloss pretended not to notice, “You should hurry and clean up Lina, Everyone’s down at the breakfast table waiting for you!” Xelloss called as he was leaving her room and walking down the hallway. Lina sat up and looked down at the dagger then at the terrible mess in front of her before breaking down sobbing, cradling her head in her hands and wondering how things got so messed up to being with.




            Lina took the sheets with her and disposed of them secretly later on.  She dutifully took the burden entirely on herself as it was her secret to keep.  And she was determined to keep it her secret. The day lurched foreword disjointedly.  Throughout most of the day the group simply headed through the countryside and mercifully, Xelloss appeared to be no-show for the day. However she couldn't take advantage of it, because just as they had the days previous, all of her friends decided to give her plenty of space.  Too much space actually, because oddly enough she felt like talking, not about the events from the night before, but she felt the need to talk to someone about something.  She was nervous, and unsure of herself.  She tried but she lacked the courage to initiate a conversation. So she waited silently for someone to talk to her, but nothing, no one would.

            It was just after lunch that her mind started to go back to the night before.  The aura of evil and anger she initially had was fading away, being replaced more by longing. Just as she had before she was becoming nostalgic of what had happened and she wanted it again. ~Something is wrong inside me...~ Not inside of her body but in her mind, Lina knew that what she was thinking was terrible and she knew she should be upset, but it just wasn’t there anymore. ~Those bandits... they didn’t deserve that... but the little girl.... I can’t... next time he’ll bring a boy.... and… I’m looking foreword to it...~ By the time they rented a room for the night Lina had decided that she was going to kill herself.




            Like many premeditated suicides Lina decided that a note was in order. It wasn’t a suicide note though.  Instead the note implied that she was okay and just in need of some time alone to figure some things out, that nothing was wrong. Of course that was incredibly far from the truth, she needed to be with people, she needed friends, and shortly she wouldn’t be okay. She pinned the note on the back of the door after she was sure everyone else had fallen asleep and left through the window. During the last leg of the trip earlier Lina thought extensively about how to finish her self off, the first thing she thought of was to slit her own throat or wrists but she was worried that once she started getting ready to cut she might get distracted.

            A spell could take her out quickly but there was no one close at hand to cast it and she didn’t want some bandits boasting that they had killed Lina Inverse for the rest of their lives. Her life would end by her own actions. During their journey today she had seen the perfect spot. A large cliff overlooking a stone quarry. The drop alone, well over eight hundred feet would finish her off, let alone the sharp spires of rock right underneath. The thought gave her a chill that was not at all unpleasant, definitely satisfying. The trip there was short, she Ray Winged the distance but she was not afraid of chickening out at the last moment and using the Ray Wing to save herself as she fell, she was made of stouter material then that, she would jump to the bottom and embrace it.

            Nonetheless, she didn’t want anyone recognizing her body, the fall would surely move her beyond recognizable state but the clothes were a dead give away, so there atop the cliff with the moon looming large behind her Lina took off her clothes for the last time in her life before folding them with care and then incinerating them. She couldn’t bring herself to destroy her talismans and other magical trinkets though. She recited a single spell on the cliff and a portion that was more toward solid ground flowed away like water making stairs. She descended and put her talismans at the bottom of the steps, looking around at the hollow she had created, “My tomb....” Lina thought about what a person entering might expect. Another small spell and the whole room acted to record a message, one that would be recited when someone finally found her possessions.

“I Lina Inverse, lay down at the end of my life all of my worldly possessions for the generations of sorceresses to come. Be it known that my life was ended on my own terms. May these items serve you better then they have me...”

            Satisfied that would be enough she motioned with her hands and the spell was complete. Walking back above ground she placed her hand next to the staircase and it melted back into the Earth. “Someone might find it.... someday.” She turned back toward the quarry and started walking away toward the edge, she stood there for a moment marveling at the beauty around her, the deep hole at the opposite side of the pit filled with water, beautifully reflecting the moon. The cool wind tickling her naked skin, the terrible urges stopped, and the need for destruction left her, she was at peace again, she bent her knees a bit, then with a mighty leap headed off the cliff smiling as she fell with her arms wide open.



            As Lina fell with the wind rushing past her naked body, a sense of clarity and serenity rushed in as time itself began to slow. Not even with her most determined ray wing had she ever moved though the air so fast. She opened her eyes and tilted her head back to see the ground coming at her relentlessly and couldn’t help but smile a bit. She relaxed even more, letting out the breath she had been holding and knew the end was only a second or so away. There was suddenly a presence behind her.  Shocked back into reality she tried to turn around managing to turn her neck it was just who she knew it would be. Xelloss was holding her around the waist, falling with her.

            “Xelloss!” The priest moved his face closer to her ear so she could hear him over the air currents.

“You can’t just kill yourself Lina, there’s so much left to do.” There was a sudden chill and a piercing energized whine as their images deconstructed from reality and faded away just inches from the ground. The air surrounding them silently continued its decent, hitting the ground and scattering out a spray of small rocks and dust, which skittered around in the still quarry.


            Colors swirled, chaotic images twisted around her and a strange burning metal smell assaulted her. But before she could analyze what was happening she felt herself becoming lost again in a way she could not explain. The cold she felt naked then hot and all over again. Light came into view then darkness, suddenly she felt her previous momentum kick in and all at once, she only knew she was somewhere again. Her momentum was now directed upward and as she materialized alone.  She was carried a full nine feet off the ground and into the air before she slammed into a ceiling. Her momentum gone, and momentarily dazed she could only start falling down again, hard.

            Her landing was partially dampened by her legs which acted as shock absorbers, taking most of the brunt of her fall, but giving out in the end, one of her knees inverting painfully backwards, putting her on her butt. For a moment she stayed still, she bit her lip to keep from crying out, moving hurt badly at first, ~...there goes my tail bone..~ Lina struggled to make a quick recovery, to at least get her bearings back.  Leaning foreword she reached around to her back and pulled her hand back around, slick with blood.  The stony ground was punctuated with sharp spires where had ripped into her naked body during her landing.  A tingling numbness spreading out from the multitude of shallow razor-like cuts. 

Looking around Lina realized that she wasn’t in a room at all, more of an offshoot of a cave. The walls reflected that. The tunnel, lit by a single light spell that hung almost directly above her, was somewhat circular, a diameter of twenty feet or so. Off to her right the tunnel ended with a craggy stonewall but to her left it took off into the darkness for who knew how far. Shakily she rolled herself onto the balls of her feet.  She winced as they touched down on the ground and immediately rolled off them onto her back.  Tilting her head she grabbed one of her feet and pulled it upward to inspect the bottom and cursed.  It was covered with a multitude of puncture wounds from the craggy ground.  Now knowing the cause of her pain but nonetheless resigned to her course of action she once again got on her feet and desperately pushed with her mangled knees to get upright.

            The cave was warm, the floor hot against the torn skin on her soles. Tentatively she took a whiff of the air confirming her suspicions about volcanic activity. “A lava tube...” Seeing no immediate activity she spoke up, her anger and helplessness raising with every word, “Xelloss! I know you’re in here, so stop hiding!” Ever so casually Xelloss walked out of the shadows from further down the tunnel and into her vision, acting as if he had been standing there the whole time but actually appearing out of thin air.

“Well Lina, I was just waiting for you to invite me out, I figured you needed your privacy until you got decent...” 

            “What the hell am I going to do Xelloss, cover up with a piece of pumice!” As Xelloss approached his smile got wider as he considered Lina’s joke.

“Well, you do have a point...” Xelloss made a motion with his cane and in a gout of flame that sputtered out as quickly as it was born, a cape now rested. “There you go, you can cover up with that.”

Lina kicked away the cape, scraping her toes painfully into the lava rock as she did, “You think I care about being decent at a time like this!” Slowly tears formed in the corner of her eyes before she continued, “I just wanna die...” Her voice trailed off with a terrible sob but she forced a smile which quirked down at the ends where tears were now collecting.

            “Oh Lina, I bet a hug would make you feel better, would you like a hug?” Xelloss took a step toward Lina, an ulterior smile on his face, opening his arms as she took a step back in fear. Her right leg gave out at the knee resulting from her change in posture.  There was a sickening pop as it dislocated to the side and Lina went down.  She let out a cry and fell painfully onto her soft unprotected rear, grinding agonizingly into the rock, drawing more blood over the jagged stone adding countless tiny cuts to her already perforated skin. She held up her hands to ward off Xelloss, fear starting to honestly grip her.  It was enough to stop Xelloss in his tracks for a moment. 

“Just get the fuck away Xelloss, leave!”

Xelloss waved his finger with a superior air, “You’re not being very nice today.... and after all the fun we had last night.”

            Lina sat back barely and pulled her knees up, the right one popping no less then three times on the way causing Lina to grimace as it renewed its connection with its socket over and over. She put her arms around them protectively and looked up at Xelloss. Her eyes met with his for an instant, “Kill me...”

His response was predictably tactless, “Awww... Lina, you know I won't do that...”

Her pupils shrunk a bit and she bit her lip, gathering determination, “Then I’ll kill myself... I’ll channel a burst flare through myself...”

Shaking his head back and fourth he responded with the truth of the matter, “We both know that if you really wanted to do that you would have already.”

She sniffled a little in response and brought up her hand to wipe her eyes. “So what is it Xelloss... why... all this.... are you trying to get me to loose control of my Giga Slave... like Phibrizo...?”

            Xelloss actually laughed at that one, a real laugh and Lina couldn’t have been much more shocked. He shook his head with a big smile on his face, “That’s actually the furthest thing from my mind.... Actually... it would have probably worked quite well judging from how you’re acting right now...”

Lina’s anger started to come back, trumping the pain and other emotions. “Then what is it? Why are you putting me though this!” Xelloss looked back down at Lina, her medium breasts heaving from the emotional effort she was putting into her words.

“I’m not putting you through anything Lina, you know I’m not the cause of this.  The first couple times you went into one of your ‘episodes’ you didn’t even know me. That time the other day with the bandits, I may have been there to watch, but did I make you sneak out that window to kill?”

            She looked down ashamed, “..then what is it Xelloss..?”

Xelloss’ voice picked up a serious tone, “You really don’t know Lina... I can see it plain as day...”

Lina looked back up at him, hoping for an answer, “...really... I don’t know...”

Sitting down lazily, Xelloss laid his staff across his lap, then started in a resigned voice, “Well it looks like this might take awhile...” Noticing Xelloss’ new vantage point she closed her knees together and drew her feet in to block any view he might have. She moved back a little simultaneously to conceal her chest from view behind her knees. Xelloss sighed a bit and shifted before starting.

            “Lina, you are a black magic sorceress, you draw your power from my Master, and her Master and the other Mazoku that make up this realm, and in your case, others still....” Lina nodded to encourage him to keep going, “..Well, with you it’s more then that, you have actually been in the presence of Lord Shabranigdo and most extraordinarily, you have had the privilege of being a vessel for the Lord of Nightmares…”  Xelloss swallowed hard, appearing to have great difficulty getting the last part out before continuing, “and there are other instances unique to you...”

Lina cut in at this moment, “But how does that explain...” Xelloss shook his finger and she quickly went silent.  A

fter a moment, satisfied she would listen, he started again, “Because of this... you have been altered… you’ve been exposed to enough demonic energy that your body has assimilated it, become twisted by it, and because of this when you go without it for long periods of time, like you recently did, you need to go out and, for lack of a better term, feed.  You could have just casted a Dragon Slave and taken in some of the excess energy from that, but you can also feed off emotions like the rest of us and that seems to be the most natural way for you to get your fill...” Xelloss finished with a wicked smile and Lina could only sit in silence and shiver.  Especially that Xelloss had grouped her with the Mazoku race.

            They sat for a few moments, Xelloss quickly becoming bored. He started spinning his staff between his hands. Lina’s face brightened, “So I can just cast a couple Dragon Slaves and everything will be fine again!?”

Xelloss met her eyes happily, “No.”

Lina did a double take, her hands falling away from her knees and ending up in fists at her sides, “What’da mean NO?!”

Xelloss stood up from his fidgety spot, keeping his eye on Lina, “Well.... What you used to need was just demonic energy, at that time all it would have taken was a Dragon Slave and you would have been sated but.... now you are certainly addicted to a more desirable drug, the negative energy of the human race.  It’s the difference between being spoon fed saw dust and indulging in the best food money can buy, and the more you get the more you want.” Xelloss finished in a tone that showed he too longed for the taste of another's pain.

            Once again resigned to her fate Lina settled back, not caring for the pains of her body.. She had been sure Xelloss had finished speaking but he once again picked up his train of thought, “However, because of the way you became connected with the Dark Lords you almost have a cyclic relationship.  It’s very interesting, you almost get the same pleasure from inflicting pain on yourself as you do others.... very interesting.... and therefore pain and pleasure are almost interchangeable for you....” At this point Lina who was entirely in pain had to grunt in disapproval but Xelloss gave no indication of hearing her, “... so if you get injured enough you feed off your own pain, you experience pleasure. But .... when you experience pleasure, does that mean that you must give yourself some kind of pain...? Actually your whole predicament is quite the hot topic with the powers that be… both the gods and the Mazoku.”

            Lina couldn’t help but blush, ~Did the whole astral plane watch me get off?~ She shook the image from her head turning her attention back to Xelloss, “So what do you think?”

Xelloss pointed to himself in a ‘who me’ manner, “I can see your astral body, honestly I’m surprised no one noticed it before… it’s no longer human.  It’s growing in strange shapes, actually... you’re starting to look like one of my kind.” Once again Xelloss’ smile had the uncanny ability to unnerve Lina. She let out a shaky breath and fell onto her back, no longer caring about Xelloss staring at her. It was just too much, her brain couldn’t handle everything while sitting up.

            Xelloss started to walk away, immediately catching her attention. She turned her head on its side to see him but he anticipated her question before it was uttered. “I’ll be back in just a few minutes.” Resigned, she let her head go back to its previous position staring at the ceiling. She let her tense muscles relax as well, taking shallow breaths, the somewhat sulfurous air giving an almost pleasant tingle. The warmth of the ground relaxed her as well, lulling her to the gates of slumber. The pain in her knees started to pass too, then the light spell flicked for a moment and the room fell into darkness. Lina didn’t even attempt to re-cast it, she was starting to feel peaceful again with thoughts of suicide filling her head.

            Shortly after the light spell went out, through her eyelids she was startled to see it had been re-cast. She looked to the opening were she expected Xelloss to be, but he was already directly in front of Lina. Her look went from shock to terror and grew as Xelloss spoke, “See Lina, I brought a boy like you told me to.” He finished with a smile and Lina felt her heart drop as she looked over the slightly chubby boy standing next to Xelloss. Clad in only something resembling a loincloth the boy, who barely came up to Xelloss’ shoulders couldn’t keep his eyes off Lina. The bangs of his short brown hair were sticking to his forehead from all the sweat he was producing; maybe Xelloss had chased him down, toyed with him before capturing him. Lina looked down further and passed his chest entirely and inspected the cloth covering his groin. She watched intently as a spot between his legs began to slowly spring out, something she had never seen before.

            Xelloss was looking at the same thing then turned his attention back to Lina, “I think he likes you!” He finished with a diabolically toothy grin.

Lina gulped trying to come up with a witty retort, “I thought you said you were bringing me a whole village of boys...” She said giving a little fake chuckle. The boy gulped and used his hands to cover the object of their conversation.

Patting him on the head, Xelloss smiled wide again, “Well there are quite a few more outside if you need them, but I figured you’d only need one to get started, was I wrong?” Lina tried to swallow but her throat was too dry. Her heart was already starting to beat faster, she could almost smell him, now she knew what that heady feeling had been, she was feeling his fear.

“Fear and lust...” She said it out loud for Xelloss’ benefit.

He arched an eyebrow, “Very perceptive, although you might have guessed that from the way he’s acting.”

            Realizing she was loosing it she struggled to calm herself down before she went too far. She focused though her emotions but it was a tough hurdle to jump. She was hot all over, hotter then could be accounted for by the heat of the tunnel.  She tried to push herself up, afraid of the pain in her knees she instead felt a somewhat pleasant ache, a heat spreading up from around them and traveling up her legs causing her to tingle all over. ~I’m feeding off my own body...~ She justified to herself, taking a deep breath to keep her focus,’s channeling the pain through whatever part is Mazoku... and the dark energy from that my body is using to heal itself... as impossible as it sounds… Xelloss may be right....~ 

            Standing was still difficult as stiff as she was, but after some cumbersome attempts she did manage to end up on her feet, somewhat slouched over. During this time Xelloss and the boy did not move, although now the boy’s erection was quite pronounced from watching Lina attempt to make it to her feet naked. Xelloss kept a hand on the boys shoulder and bowed slightly at his hips, extending out his other hand, “Your dagger Lina.” Her mind iced over as she saw the flashing blade and her control was like a vapor in her grasp, fading, gone. ~I know I’ll regret this later, I don’t want to do this.... but I want it so much.... I just.... to give in.... it would feel so good... I can't stop myself... and if I can’t stop myself, is it really my fault?~

            A smile tickled the corners of her lips as she reached out for the dagger, her posture and confidence improving drastically as she shifted over mentally. Grabbing it by the handle she looked it over carefully, as if it might have changed since last saw it, verifying its identity. Faster then ever she was fully taken with her Mazoku impulses.  Without hesitation she grabbed her left nipple and pulled it out away from her body and pressed the tip of the knife into the flesh right at the base of her areola. The tip went in slowly, one rapid advancement after it penetrated the first layer of skin and yet another is it pushed through the other side. Lina’s heart was beating faster now and tunnel vision was kicking in, but the feelings were stronger then ever. The terrible delicious feeling of metal slowly cutting into flesh, she let out a low moan mixed with a hiss as she pulled the knife down and out of the bottom of her areola. Blood was flowing freely as she went back and lifted up the lower half of her nipple and completely amputated it from her body, the thin piece of flesh that still attached it easily severed.

            She took the nipple and popped it in her mouth, chewed its’ rubbery texture a couple times and swallowed, “I just had to finish that one off.  I thought for sure I took care of it the other night...” Xelloss’ mouth hung open slightly but he tried to maintain his composure. Next to him the boy looked wildly between Lina and Xelloss with his eyes but didn’t move. Lina looked toward the boy and smiled a little wider and more wickedly, “I see you’ve done me the favor of casting a paralysis spell on the fat kid.”

Xelloss looked down at the child and smiled then tapped him on the head with his staff, “Now you can thank me.” She smiled back, reveling in the boys fear, taking it all into herself, making her even more muddled and giddy.

            The blood from her nipple severing had completely trailed down her body, running between her legs and down between her thighs, just barely beginning to puddle between her feet. She didn’t give it a second thought. She stepped foreword toward the boy, on her first step the knee on her leading leg shook unsteadily but managed to recover, her next step was better and the one after that seemingly normal. The short distance was covered with agonizing slowness and the boy looked panicked. His already sweaty brow was becoming more saturated by the second but save for his darting eyes he was motionless.

            After she’d crossed the distance she dropped the dagger to the floor, freeing up her hands to hold her knees and physically hold them in their sockets as she crouched down to eye level.  The boy shifted his eyes away from Lina, Xelloss taking the moment to take a few steps away and melt into the shadows. For Lina all there was in the world was her, the boy, and an appropriate light spell focused on the two of them. She judiciously reached to the sides of the cloth the boy donned and pulled it down, his penis striking out in a seemingly defensive manner that took Lina by surprise. 

            With all coverings out of the way Lina went straight to the prize. Never in her life had she seen one of these. Sure, she had heard talk, and there had been some rough drawings that she had chanced upon occasionally, but in all of her life Lina had never seen a real penis. She reached out and touched it tentatively on the head, her fingers colder then the surrounding flesh of it, making goose bumps rise up on her arms. Momentarily forgetting her malicious impulses she took the shaft into both of her hands, her first completely encompassing from the base to the bottom of the head with the second just covering the very tip. The warmth from it spread up her arm and she giggled a little bit from the new sensations she felt. Leaning in a little she planted a light kiss on the crown of the appendage, and then became a little more daring, and gave it a solid lick. The musky aroma of the area pulling somewhere deep within her body.

            Capriciously, she changed her focus a little further down.   Moving her hand just a few inches away she cupped the boys balls, “Ohhh....” Lina mouthed involuntarily as she moved them around in their sack. She took both of her hands to them, sliding them back and fourth between the thin membrane. At first it was simple curiosity but it became something more sadistic as she became intent on popping one of them. She braced one of them from behind and put her two thumbs to either side of it. Determined she slowly slid them along the flesh with intense pressure making the boy breath out pained but otherwise unchanged in his frozen expression. As her fingers slid up the side of his ball she greatly increased the pressure, letting the back of it fall into a depression between her fingers to keep it from sliding. With it firmly pressed between her thumbs and the back of her hand she gave it her all, raising up on her haunches to put downward pressure on it.

            The boy let out a painfully wheezing breath, his face turning beet red. As the pressure increased Lina was sure it would give, but instead it slid out from her hold, disappointing her to no end. Now slightly distraught but nonetheless determined she grabbed up the whole sack in her left hand and twisted till it was pulled away tightly from the rest of the body, then she reared back and punched it. The boy's whole body tensed up as much as the spell would allow and he lost his breath but the balls remained intact. Her heart fluttered as a particularly wicked thought crossed her mind, drawing her hand down between her legs and straight to her clit.

            Her moans started out lightly but grew in volume as she moved her other hand to where her nipple had been to aid in her arousal. She forced one finger into the cavity left where the nipple was and under the skin and started moving it around. Her fingers between her legs started to work even faster to keep up with her need for pain and pleasure as she wobbled unsteadily on the balls of her feet. Opening her eyes and pulling herself from her own pleasure she moved her head foreword and took the head of the boy's cock into her mouth all at once. Immediately she started grinding her teeth into it, bruising the tender flesh and tonguing up some of the blood she was drawing. Now the boy’s eyes were vacant, his mind was nowhere near where his body was trapped, no doubt that was the best he could have hoped for.

            With her link to her Mazoku side intensified she noticed the boys pain and fear slacking off now that she knew what to look for.  She stopped fingering herself and removed her finger from her breast, leaving behind a gaping hole that extended the length of the mound and straight to her ribs. She forced herself up savoring the ungodly sounds that emanated from her knees and the terrible pain ripping through her feet from rocks that were sharp as glass. Standing now in a large puddle of her own blood she reached back and smacked the boy in the face as hard as she could, causing him to teeter and after a moment fall to the ground. 

            She wiped the blood from her hands on her hips leaving red streaks and looked into the air purposefully, “Xelloss! Get out here!” Just as she had expected he was walking out of the darkness in her direction in an instant, a shit-eating grin on his face and his hand behind his head in embarrassment.

“Anything I can help you with Lina?”

She looked down at the boy angrily, “This bastard passed out on me!” She accentuated her point by attempting to kick the downed boy but aborted before she even started due to her instability. Xelloss took a few more steps toward Lina and went to put a arm around her shoulder but seeing the look of rage on her face decided against it and moved his arm back to his side.

            Xelloss looked back toward Lina from the boy, “Well you have to expect things like this, some people don’t deal with pain very well...”

Lina looked back down at the boy, “Get him up Xelloss.... Now!” Xelloss pretended to be panicked to please Lina and quickly bent down to see the condition of the boy, after a moment’s consideration he reached toward the boy and his hand transported through his chest. Instantly the boy's whole body jerked and his eyes went wide, he took a deep gasping breath and Xelloss took out his hand. He shook it as if trying to dislodge liquid from it and stood up.

He motioned toward the boy with his hands and backed away, “He’s all yours Lina.” Lina smiled, she moved her hand from its place between her legs were it was during the whole affair and reached down to grab the dagger.

“It’s time to end this, because I’ve got a bunch of boys to get through tonight, and if I don’t get to them all, I won’t regret this as much in the morning.” 

            Lina looked down at the boy who was now on his elbows looking up in fear, “Stand up!” She commanded noticing that he was no longer under the effect of the paralysis. He was slow to respond and Xelloss took that as his que , whacking the boy in the head with his staff. Spittle flew from the adolescent’s mouth as it struck but he quickly rose to his feet and looked at Lina expectantly. Now with her dagger in hand she dropped down into a crouch again, “Xelloss, can you paralyze his body, but make it so I can still hear him scream?” The boy's fright doubled and he looked toward Xelloss, fearing the answer as much as Lina was hoping for it.

He put his finger to his chin appearing to be lost in thought for a moment then looked at Lina, “I don’t see why not.”  Xelloss took the end of his staff and touched it to the boy who immediately seized up. He waited a moment, “Speak!” The boy said nothing so Xelloss smashed him in the head with his staff again and the boy cried out, a couple tears coming to the end of his eyes. Xelloss smiled sharply and looked to Lina, “There you go, if you need anything else I’ll just be over there, okay?” Lina gave him and affirmative shake of the head and moved the dagger around in her hand a bit to get a feel for it again. Satisfied she grabbed his balls and cock together and pulled them upward toward his stomach. His flaccid phallus started to become erect again in Lina’s hand and she looked up at him disgusted.

            “Does it turn you on that I’m going to cut off your dick you fat fuck!” The color drained from the boy's face and he tried to say something but it came out garbled, she could tell he was begging, she could feel his fear, his tears rolling down his cheeks were delicious motivation for Lina, a stray tear falling from his jaw and landing on Lina’s own cheek. She eagerly tongued it up and smiled at him. Then she felt something that surprised her, his dick continued to grow, pushing her hand apart a minuscule amount, “Ohhh.. so you do want me to cut it off..” The boy tried to shake his head no but could hardly move a fraction, he tried to plead with her again, letting out strangled sounds and crying softly. 

            Lina had never been so turned in her her short sexual life. She eagerly pulled up the bundle of flesh even more and put the edge of the knife under his extended sack. His cries of protest picked up as did Lina’s intensity, her heart was in her throat, her mouth dry, her face flushed with searing blood. Slowly she started to saw into the boy's sack. At first the blade did not cut the malleable flesh but as her pressure built up it started to give way, sinking in without drawing blood, being held inside by the pressure of the blade. It had passed a centimeter or so into the flesh and Lina decided to check on her progress. She pulled away the blade and let go of the package of flesh. She had made a gash in the boys sack and inquisitively she stuck a finger inside.  She was immediately in rapture, she hooked her finger around one of the orbs inside and pulled it back out of the sack, then went back and repeated for the other.  Now, both of the balls that she had been so occupied with before fell free from their home inside the boy.

            They hung there, bobbing up and down almost unperceptively with the boy's breathing, and as Lina looked at the white sacks on their cords she couldn’t help herself. Her right hand was between her legs fondling the folds of flesh there. Her fingers were working their way through the bloody mess and into her cunt. Her heart pounded, her eyes glazed, in pleasure she threw up, spattering the ground with a terrible concoction of blood and the half-digested sludge of her dinner. Her pace did not slow though, actually it quickened, she took her free hand and picked up the knife and looked over the finish of the blade gleefully. She took in the grain of the handle and the blood from both this boy and herself. A slight orgasm rocked her but she stayed on her feet and redoubled her effort. She took the knife and held it next to one of the cords coming out of the boy's body, blood streaming down it freely to the ground mixing with her own.

            Another small orgasm on the verge of the infinite orgasm. She was at the edge almost there, the boy nearly emasculated. By the knife that had changed her life so much. He wouldn’t be able to spawn, or have pleasure when she was done. ~...after I take his balls... I’ll come back for his cock... then... I might let him live....~ She laughed to herself at the thought. Her fingers desperately pulling at her clit, her fingernails embedding deeply into the flesh. ~His cock is sort of like my clit..... if I....~ Suddenly the part of her that was un-corrupted gave its all to alter her course of action ~... If I want more pain, I'll give myself more pain!~  She moved her hand away from her clit and dropped backwards onto her butt and spread her legs. Still with the boy's balls in view hanging from his body and her cunt in the same view she knew something that might answer her problems and make herself happy.

            She stabbed foreword with all of her might and hit her mark. The tip of the knife sinking deeply into the flesh directly next to her clit, ending its decent into her body abruptly when it struck her pelvic bone. She screamed out raggedly but didn’t stop her course of action. Working with a brute force unknown to most she drew the blade in a tight deep circle around her clit, straight to the bone. Screaming at the top of her lungs she worked the knife around a few more times to cut through the sinew and the tendons and the nerves. She threw the knife desperately to the side and sunk two of her fingers into the jagged circular opening surrounding her clit. Working them in and out of the bloody mess. Her other hand went down in between her legs going deep into her cunt. 

Oh GoOoDdDdDdDdD!

            Her entire body clenched up and her back arched, digging deeply into the glass-like rocks. She pinched her clit tightly between her fingers and pulled away from her body with all of her might. She felt a strange tearing from deep within and the whole organ ripped away. “Ahhh, Aughhh!” She dropped back, straight into the ground and went still except for the gradual pumping of her hips, and the whole cavern went completely silent with the exception of Lina’s shredded breathing.

            Xelloss walked out from the shadows clapping his hands with the biggest smile on his face, “Well done, I knew you'd figure that out eventually, but that was quick even for you.” Lina tried to open her eyes but failed, she turned her head slowly in his general direction, giving a questioning look, Xelloss shook his head in disapproval as if chastising a child, “You know you’re going to need that one day Lina...” Xelloss raised his hand up and her fingers uncurled from her destroyed clit, it levitated a few inches into the air and was enveloped in a translucent cube of space, shimmering, then it solidified into existence. By now Lina had opened her eyes and she was starring in mesmerized at the nub of flesh as it levitated over toward her and touched down weightlessly on her chest. Magically a shimmering golden chain grew into existence around her neck, connecting to the sides of the cube. It too solidified and all at once she could feel its weight around her. 

            “Xelloss...?” She managed out damaged.

Xelloss just doubled up his smile and pointed between Lina’s legs with his staff, “Oh my Lina, it looks to me like you’re bleeding to death...” Lina forced her head up quickly and gave a little eep at the considerable puddle of blood pumping from her crotch. She felt the thick stickiness trailing between her butt and pooling all behind her back.  She looked around franticly and grabbed the discarded cape from earlier, pressing it tightly into her crotch to stem the flow of blood. She looked up expectantly but all Xelloss gave her was a whimsical smile, “See you later Lina.” And with that he teleported away laughing, taking the boy with him and leaving Lina in physically terrible condition, but mentally renewed.



            It took me awhile to get out of the caves but with the help of a few fireballs I managed to tunnel my way to the surface. Sure there’s been a lot on my mind, but at least I made it back before anyone woke up and found my little note. After all of this though, I feel a hundred percent better.  I can actually think clearly again! After a little detour with everyone back to the quarry, a few moments gazing out at what could have became my tomb and grabbing up my things from underground, we were off again on our way to another adventure. But I haven’t figured out what Xelloss hoped to get from all of this. 

            Absently I reach down and run my fingers over the flawless surface of my pendant again. 

            I keep it just beneath my shirt, out of view but close to me. Now I know it was the channeling point, it connected myself with the evil that I’ve gathered over the years. But it’s still there, the evil. I can feel it now that I know what to look for, in the astral plane my body is just like Xelloss said, it’s no longer human. I know one day I’ll have to deal with it again, but thinking about it makes the pendant warm against my skin. For what seems like the hundredth time since I got this ‘gift’ from Xelloss I’m thinking about destroying it again. But it’s a part of me.....

            “So Zel, where’s this lost city at?” I ask sarcastically, knowing that this is after all a lost city we're looking for, but we’ve been walking around for so long, and my feet are starting to get tired. He gives one of his trademark glowers, pretending that I’m getting to him, but we both know that it’s all in fun. It’s not like I’m not enjoying the fresh air. I feel so free.... 

            Gourry knows something or at least suspects something happened, he’s been more protective for the last couple days... and speak of the devil...

            He ever so casually puts his arm across my shoulders, but that’s not such a good idea, the road we’re walking on is rough and it’s not at all comforting. Still though it feels good to have contact with him. I let myself lean off to the side a bit and up against him and he smiles, that goofy smile that I never really noticed before. Now I can hear Zel and Amelia ahead of us trying to whisper to each other, probably about me and Gourry. My, aren’t they getting close. 

            I decide to take a jab at them. “So Amelia, when’s the big wedding?” Amelia immediately turns around to face me, her face beet red and I guess she's trying to stare me down, but how could it work with a face like hers.

            “And what wedding would that be Lina?”

            Ohhhh... I struck a nerve. Shrugging my shoulders I get Gourry’s arm off me and take a few steps foreword. I’m trying my darndest to get my face to look just like hers. All scrunched up and angry looking. I know I’m failing miserably but it’s funny, at least Gourry and Zel seem to be getting it, they’re both cracking smiles right now. But Amelia’s just redoubling her efforts. I can’t help it any more...

            “Bwa ha ha ha haaa...” I can’t stop the laugh from getting out, and Amelia finally lets go, her face softens to a smile.

            “Lina...”  She shakes her head a little from side to side and her smile widens, then she turns around and starts walking again.

            I think they’re all happy that I’m feeling better. 

            We re-group a bit and Gourry positions his hand across my back again. It’s good and pure feeling so I don’t mind at all, as long as he doesn’t get all hentai on me. Finally after some walking Zel puts his arm over Amelia, I almost didn’t notice when it happened, he was being so slick about it. I nudge Gourry a little and point silently, he just nods his head and smiles. We’re both happy for the two of them.

            As for Xelloss, he’s still around, we haven’t seen him today but he pops up like usual. Of course he’s pretending like nothing happened. I think he might be doing it for me.... well if he is, it would be the only good deed he’s ever done in his life! I mean, after what he did to me.... well I can’t blame him entirely... but that sure as hell doesn't mean that I forgive his happy ass!

            I snuggle in a little bit into Gourry’s nook and feel my terrible memories melt away. My body is relaxing a bit so I have to concentrate more on the road ... my walking reflex doesn’t seem to be automated when I’m this comfy, I never noticed that before. I lift my head up a little and look into Gourry’s face, our eyes lock...


            ...could you... 

            ...carry me?”

            The look on his face is priceless.

            “Carry you! Whad’ya think I am, a horse?” He says in an incredulous tone.

            “Well... it was worth a shot!” I take a step away from Gourry and resume walking on my own again. He just gives me the weirdest look and it seems like I’ve caught Zelgadiss’ attention as well.

            “You two are incredible.”

            I smile a bit at that, “Thank you Zel!” He just shakes his head and turns back to face the road ahead.  I giggle a bit. I feel like I’ve got my life back, and this time I’m going to live it to the limit. I’ve got my friends back, and this time I’m going to cherish them. My future is not set in stone and I think I’ve got through the worst life as to offer. Softly I mutter to myself one of Amelia’s trademark lines, “Life is wonderful...” And I believe it just might hold true yet.

The End



Authors Rant:

            Thanks for reading though my Revised Edition of ‘Am I Evil.”  I’m sure that those of you that have never read it before are very glad that it had a happy ending.  This fanfic took me approximately 4 years to complete along with a checkup 2 years after finishing it.  If you want to e-mail me you can send it to and if you would like to read more fanfiction of mine and happen to not be at my website at the moment just go to and you’ll find more of my works there.  Heavy metal music inspired this fanfic, specifically Pantera and White Zombie so some of the blame rests with them.  Irregardless, thank you so much for reading and have a great day!

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