I Hate Yuffie
A work of fanfiction by Rob.Vincent@gmail.com
Characters depicted herin are not my property, they belong to the wonderful people at Sony and Squaresoft and I do not claim any ownership of them. I am making no money off this fiction and in all likelihood by brining this subject up there is a chance someone might want to play FF7 again and find that there copy is broke and go out to buy a new one, thus generating profit for you, the video game companies.
Overhead the sun was setting on another beautiful day, hues of gold and orange clouded the sky with their radiance, and even further up, nearly out of the sight of the naked eye sailed a ship. But not just any ship, an air ship, the Highwind. It sailed majestically though the sky, refracting the sun in a dazzling array or mind boggling colors off of its pristinely polished silver finish. The propellers turned lazily somehow keeping it aloft despite their speed, a miracle of science and a work of art all in one.
But there's movement, just a little, but enough to were it proves interesting, upon closer inspection we see the thief/ninja Yuffie experiencing another case of motion sickness. This somehow spoils the beauty of the ship. She hiccups a bit and holds dreadfully still for a moment as if afraid to move, her cheeks bulge and she chokes back tears before they return to normality. Sweat is beading on her forehead and her skin has taking on a pale complexion unrivalled by most of the living. Finally she looses the war and her lunch goes hurtling toward the ground at ballistic velocity, probably off to kill some farm animal somewhere.
A spark of a smile comes to her face and she looks somewhat better but the ship makes a sharp turn to avoid the peak of a mountain and she falls back on her butt. She braces herself upright with her hands and begins to scramble for the railing again but not quickly enough, nausea overwhelms her and more of her eats from the last 24 hours come back to haunt her but this time she manages to coat the entire front of her outfit with a disgusting array of partially digested soup. She staggered back to the railing and bent over the smell of her top causing her, for the third time today, to lose her lunch. She could go down and change but she was afraid of getting sick along the way so she decided to stick it out on the deck like she had for the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that...
Time seemed to craw for Yuffie, the sun had set and they were still flying, she was tempted to get up and ask the fools where the heck they were going, but she was comfortable for once with where she was and she didn't want to abuse her poor stomach any more then it had been today. She was sitting in the corner between the railing and the main bulk of the ship huddled tightly almost in a ball. She had taken off her top leaving her in just a bra and her shorts. Her stinky top was sitting some distance away but she was downwind from it so occasionally she would catch a whiff of the cursed thing, she made a silent vow to burn it later.
The top was flapping furiously in the strong wind and much to Yuffie's surprise suddenly went airborne and took off at her. Her eyes bugged out and she gave a little squeal and tried to dodge but she was much to confined in the little corner and the sopping thing hit her full on in the face and chest area making a sickly smacking sound as it did so. Shuddering she slowly reached up to the top of the wet mass and grabbed it by the corner pulling it off her face and cringing at the sticky contact and the grotesque sound. When fully removed she dropped it back to the floor where it stuck quite readily. She hyperventilated for a couple more seconds in a standing position before she decided that she had enough and started heading for the door.
It was no surprise to her that it was somehow locked and that she was trapped outside, how she hated her life sometimes. She stared to wonder to a different corner, one that wasn't downwind when she noticed that aside from the sticky feeling she was feeling fine, maybe even good, she was so happy that she started jumping up and down, she wasn't feeling good anymore, not even fine, and she didn't make it to the railing this time either. Now her bra and shorts where ruined, having some sense of modesty she opted to keep on the bra even though it was already beginning to chafe her but her shorts were eagerly tossed away, the wind caught them and they were carried clear down to the other side of the ship where her top was.
She sighed and flopped down onto the deck so she could get back to normal. But fate would not have Yuffie laying down on the job, with her head pressed against the deck she could distinctly hear something rolling around on the deck. Grudgingly she propped herself up on her elbows and glanced around, then immediately jumped up. "Damn!" she shouted and dashed to the front of the ship wobbling all the way. She had forgotten all about the materia that she was keeping in he shorts and it was now rolling all around the deck, thank god she had only kept two or three pieces in there. She was so focused on the materia that was rolling precariously toward the edge that she didn't even notice the one right in front of her, that is until she stepped on it, slipped on it, and tripped over the railing because of it. She screamed, but it was a short scream, luck was on her side and she had landed on a narrow outcropping platform on the ship about three feet wide only hurting her butt a little and her back. Immediately the wind pressure almost had her pinned to the wall completely.
It took quite a bit of effort to move and with her motion sickness even more. She pushed with all of her might and managed a standing position against the wall the wind pining her like some quarter being held to an electromagnet. She stood for a second letting her stomach settle, but it didn't, it kept getting worse, and within just a couple seconds she was ready to vomit again, and she did, again and again and again, to say the least it wasn't a pretty sight, but the wind pulled some of it back into her and she had a spattering of the liquid once held in her stomach over her chest. The wind pressure rolled the liquid off of her body and she was once again clean in a matter of seconds, except for her bra, it was still covered from before and worse yet it was starting to chafe her breasts.
With a resigned sigh she unclasped it and pulled it off. Then it ripped itself out of her hand and flew away with the wind to a back area of the ship where she heard rather then seen it hit with a wet *thwap.' Utterly tired and sick she was going to just sit down till the airship made it to its destination but there on the ground she seen it, a piece of materia! And it was ready to roll right off of the front of the ship! She grabbed for it just as the ship began a turn and she flew off her steel girded ledge. She screamed again and thought to herself, *this day couldn't get any worse.......at least I get to die in peac...' *thwam!' she hit chest first against the huge viewing window at the head of the airship, pinned there by air pressure. Everyone in helm of the airship stopped what they where doing and starred wide eyed at Yuffie. Her tiny body was pressed heavily against the glass and her flesh was distortedly huge, her breasts nothing more then huge saucers. "Now this couldn't get any worse...." then she wet herself.
The End
I hate Yuffie
She stole my materia